I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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