I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
