Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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