just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
