I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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