Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
