i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
