So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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