All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I would ride that face into the sunset
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
