Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
