I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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