I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
