I want to make a zoo with you.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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