apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Actions speak louder than pants.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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