I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Apparently you make a good broom.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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