dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
