we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
