mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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