We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
