when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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