Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
