the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
