Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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