3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
