I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We smell like vodka and hangover
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
