his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
