Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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