wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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