A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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