just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
