she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
