wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
