just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
