There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
