I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
