i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
