Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
