I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
