Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
