I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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