dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
