me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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