Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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