her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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