I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize