Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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