I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
