well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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