so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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