she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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