I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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