as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
