Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
